Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The sky's 'aglow tonight.

This would have been a good time
Now would have been the moment
When your presence could mean much
More than just half-drunk cups of coffee, late night sobbing,
Worthless men, sexcapades, and dreams of making it out of that system

We often talked about when the change would come
How we'd be THIS and show the world
Stand up and actualize...
Prove that we are more than mere failures

There is much more to our stories than retries
We are women worth all the glories within
We knew this then
But wondered what it'd feel like
Once the world caught on

Now, would have been good
We could have looked back and said
Damn, and to think we were so stuck in that rut

But instead, you're the shining light to the darkened path I step on tonight
And you don't even know
Like the stars glowing to earth
Adored from here,
And you don't even know

You made good on that promise
Severed the ties and walked out to light
Be sure to know I am so proud
And never once did I doubt that you ever could

Now instead, you're the shining light to the darkened path I step on tonight
And you don't even know
Like the stars glowing to earth
Adored from here,
And you don't even know

So far away,
A star on my dark path tonight
I feel your light hold my wrist and urge me on
Your words ringing in my ears like you were here
...and you don't even know.

Monday, January 21, 2013

In bed

Every thought is recessed by ache
Throat parched, begging for heat
Your head feels heavy,
Neck weak.

An unapologetic drum line across your face
A harsh reminder yet again
Love and only love,
Can heal the sick.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013


Does a revolution not start with a thought?
An idea? An inspiration for change?
A movement, from anger?
A feeling? A aspiration for another?

Does it not start with some sort of emotion?
Did they all that marched before you not wish too?
With little beginings, such as I crave to feel?

Would you please? For the sake of humanity, walk forward with this?
Yes I may be fickle. Sometimes, civil, most times erratic, I know!

Would you though. Even with all of it. My flakes, notwithstanding, realize that I too, can be a challenge?

Does every moment not start with those?
Challenges on those roads. Blocks. Not much different from this head of mine.
Would you then, please? Though it likely will not last. Realize, that I too, can be charity?

Let's do it. Even for a minute.
You be the muse I fall hair over toes with.
You be the coffee that is too tasty to NOT drink.
We can have something dangerously conniving.
Highly addictive.
Manipulative love sort of ish.
I'm willing.
Fuck, begging!
Let's do it.
Even for a minute.
I can write all about our love that could have withstood it all,
But in the end never did.
And I'd reminisce every now and again about you and me
And the love we had

And that, should give me hundreds of stanzas!

So, make me it.

I'm Charity.
And you, the Selfish Inattentive Bastard who never did deserve Charity anyway.

Let's do it.


And then, there is John
Who's mother is but a face
Absent, sick, humbled with tears
Knowing that not even she can save him
At that very moment, it all ended
Her part is completed.
He now has a life of his to live.
God save this child.

Even a dog would fight
Animals in the kingdom do
Turning phlebotomists as they should
It is a mother's first calling
Forget self preservation
That child takes precedence

And then there is John
For $1,150, he will work
For $1,150, he'll live jailed
For $1,150, he'll lose face
For $1,150, he'll be the child whose worth depends on his ability to care for another child
He'll forever wonder why
Or maybe he wont.
Maybe he'll soon realize it's only because he looks like midnight.

And I don't know what could be more telling of a child's worth
That even your mother cannot save you from the monsters
Who creeped out from the horror tales you've been told
Seeped into your dreams
Came through from under your bed
And looked your mother in the face, daring to say
"John, sold for $1,150."
John and another boy.

And just like that,
John became a child slave.

Friday, January 11, 2013


This is what I look like in the mornings
Worse on dreamless nights when I wake spaced
Unnsure of the terrible deeds I did while asleep
Or the dark creatures I made perish
Superwoman or villain,
whatever I was then, I do not know
So I wake up, spaced
Craving to crawl back in bed and trace my previous steps

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Seeking impossible.

I walked in with hope
Because I saw the ground
High here, low there
And over a bit further
Lays a valley so deep
I blend within its shadow.
And on its highest hill
Are little feet
Blue veins and pink tinge
And it was then I realized
The ground doth shakes
And when it does, I look to the sky
Why is it that...
My feet go deeper still.

Monday, January 7, 2013

That's Ms. Tasker to you.

So I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone
Thought I'd live and pretend at the same time
Multitasking has made it into my strengths list
Why not? Especially since I now know how to work my full time job (as a friend's Chief Wedding Planner [groom yet to be found but they say faith moves mountains]) while all at the same time, pretending to be an amateur actress :D

Call me Ms. Tasker. Multi Tasker.  


I certainly can teach you how. Multitasking 101 classes starting in February!
Sign up now!!!

These pics are from the set of "No Nonsense Woman", by Thorvic's production.


This one-a-day thing
It’s challenging.
I run out of things to write
Things concerning enough
I know there should be many
I know there are plenty
But things that truly concern me?
Well, those are few and far between
Why else would I with times so hard,
Be here, writing about writing?

Sunday, January 6, 2013


Of course, you feel it
You nurse it mindlessly
Cotton dab it
Almost believe it is healed

Till the day you wake up
To the fiery grasp
That holds you so tight
You pray for an ocean because
You can barely breathe.

Friday, January 4, 2013


Sketch that p
Make it caPital
Don't forget the e:yes
Yeah, that illustrates it perfectly.


I did as I pleased.
Please, don't hesitate.
Let it burn you.

Thursday, January 3, 2013


I called and you sneered
But boo! Who won this here?

I may have prayed to Jesus a few times
So damn desperate I forgot I haven't read a verse in a while
I may have sobbed and wailed and bitten my lower lip in utter fear

But I stood like black
I did not crack.
Booooo! Who won this here?!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


It'd cost a sorry
One I'm not willing to give
Lower my lids
Bow my head

I just couldn't
So I took the hit.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

2012 and I

No whistles no bells, no fireworks, no hails
You walked in quietly
I wish you hadnt
That wasn't how we planned it
You promised to come out banging!
Honking, dancing with fireworks and stuff
You fall my hand
But it was a lesson. 
I know now, not to expect till delivery
But in January, I worked hard and sowed some seeds

On my birthday you dealt me one hell of a funky blow
Knocked me out totally
I swore I couldn't do this
Whatever it'll take. Whatever way I could, 
I knew you had to get going

February came slowly
Life became mundane
I quickly learnt to look forward to better days
Humbled by chances
Fresh out of pride
I took it, with no other choice but to

March came and I got some wind
That was a month of upheaval
Anger. Regret. Rage. 
Praise and regaining self love.
I wanted to kill a bitch
But jail scared me
I hear they have troubled women there
That shit humbled me quick
No worse place to be than in a jail cell
Locked up with rage itself
Besides, I got a hopeful mail
A new lease on career ;)
I figured I'd take this chance to get back to what I do best;
Daring myself.
I left a mess behind. 
September met my pink highlighter

April brought some fresh rain
The soil got some water
I smelled some roots
I knew flowers were coming my way in May
I cried and smiled and traveled to see the sun
After four years, I get a piece of tree
It'll say my name on it, and it'll claim that I did it

May-be I was silly to think I can
But believe, I did! 
Let it not ever be said that I lack faith
With pride, I walked those stairs
Glowing in white, my face like the sea
I remembered moments when I left myself
And walked off to gain clarity
I remember desperation forced humility on me.
I remember shame.
But nothing mattered anymore
I got my tree. 

June brought it's troubles
But I pressed on
The sun was here
And I look better in yellow than blue

In July, I reaquainted with a natural friend
We once shared thesame womb
At different times, but hey!
No one womb can hold us two anyway
But Dream held four in hers 
When they arrived, we simply hid

In August life got scary
Desperate and tired, I submitted to fate
But not without a fight
Never knew I could submit, fighting
But life's full of lessons
In this month, I met my new lead

September stumbled in like a clumsy nerd
It was half drunk on pride and fresh outta tricks
It did arrive, however
And when it did, I felt alive
Just me, my Dream and my Wake.
Everyone else found their own home

In October, fear caught up with me
Shit got real
Deadlines chased me to my daydreams
They left me no space to breathe

November proved worse
That bastard showed no mercy
I dropped a few balls
I got broke-n
I realized, no one woman is an island
I'll have to lean
Speaking of lean, my meats will have to be too
I'd gained 10 pounds
All in 2012
And in this very month, money took on a new meaning

December was a merciless goat
But hey! I made a deal
"Dear Decem, you let me live you through,
and I just might be willing to let you win".
The unforgiving bastard kept it's promise, and well, here I am
In this same month I'd redefine what friends are to me
And realize not to take what I wouldnt give.
And of course, what other month to learn this but the month of December.
December's always been a bit of a bitchy month
Maybe that's why I don't get along much with Sag's.

In January.
When I look back and realize
That 2012 was the year I had been dreaming of
I'd craved it for four years
They said the year was going to end
I didn't care
Zombie apocalypse? 
Hey, let it happen.
As long as I dont feel like I failed.
As long as I got my tree.
Me, Dream, Wake, my girls, and my tree.
And with that, I scratch that off my list.
2014, where art thou?!
I remain a true Aquarius; eyes always to the future.